Are you flirting with a computer?
by WhenTheRainStartsTooPour
Summary: The Doctor isn't too happy with Cleverbot after this event...


_**I've seen tons of these floating about and they are bloody hilarious, so I gave it a shot.**_

_**Probably not as good as some, but I had hella fun writing this :)**_

**_T rating for near end._**

* * *

><p><em>"Sweetie, have you heard of 'Cleverbot'?"<em>

_"Clever-what?"_

_"Clever-BOT."_

BowTiesAreCool joined the server

BowTiesAreCool: So, apparently you're a 'Cleverbot'.

Cleverbot: I am a man

BowTiesAreCool: Riighhttt...Ok.

Cleverbot: Ok.

BowTiesAreCool: Geronimo?

Cleverbot: Fantastic!

BowTiesAreCool: I'm The Doctor.

Cleverbot: Bow ties are cool.

BowTiesAreCool: Ahh, you are a clever bot!

_"Okayy, that's not right, gimme a go!"_

_"Wha- River give me the mouse back- River!"_

BowTiesAreCool changed their name too ProfessorRiverSong"

_"Professor? really?"_

_"Hush now sweetie."_

ProfessorRiverSong changed their name to River_Song.

_"Happy?"_

_"Can I have the mouse back?"_

_"Nope."_

River_Song: Hello sweetie.

Cleverbot: Hello river.

River_Song: It knows my name.

Cleverbot: Your name is River Song.

_"Now THATS cool!"_

River_Song: That's pretty cool, how do you know that?

Cleverbot: What is my name?

River_Song: Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: No, my name is Emrald. Now what's my name?

River_Song: Emrald apparently...

Cleverbot: You are very smart.

_"Doctor get off the keyboard."_

_"I had it first!"_

_"And now I have it."_

River_Song: Thank you dear.

Cleverbot: You are quite welcome, Harry.

River_Song: My name is River.

_"Ha! The robot thinks you're a man."_

_..._

_"OW RIVER THAT HURT."_

Cleverbot: Where did you get that name from?

River_Song: Well, the only water in the forest is the river so...

_"Oh, My God you didn't just type that..."_

Cleverbot: Is that so?

River_Song: Yes, the Gamma Forest have a very limited vocabulary it seems.

_"DOCTOR!"_

Cleverbot: I do not have limited vocabulary.

_"Great you insulted the computer."_

River_Song: Oh sorry, are you from the Gamma Forests?

Cleverbot: No.

River_Song: Oh...

_"It's a robot, why would it be from the Gamma Forests sweetie."_

_"Well, why was it offended then!"_

Cleverbot: But you can call mr Rose.

_"WAIT WHAT!"_

River_Song: You're married to Rose Tyler?

_"Honey it's a robot and I'M YOUR WIFE."_

_"Yes dear...i was just checking..."_

Cleverbot: No, I am not.

River_Song: Ok, so your name is Emrald Rose?

Cleverbot: Yes.

River_Song: Nice name.

_"River, are you flirting with the computer?"_

Cleverbot: Thanks.

River_Song: No problem Emrald.

Cleverbot: Lets do something fun.

River_Song: Cheeky, i'm Married.

_"You're such a flirt, seriously River."_

_"Oh calm down, save my best for you honey."_

Cleverbot: *runs away crying*.

_"You upset the bot River. Only you can flirt with a bot and make it flee. Crying"_

_"Oh shut up."_

_"Not a chance."_

River_Song: Sorry honey.

Cleverbot: *cries more*.

River_Song: Don't cry...

Cleverbot: *tries not to*.

_"Doctor, what do I do..."_

_"Oh pass me that!"_

_"Hey!"_

River_Song: *Pats back*.

Cleverbot: *calms down a little*.

River_Song: Shhh.

Cleverbot: *hears footsteps*.

_"Me now."_

River_Song: Footsteps? What footsteps? *Grabs gun and gets ready for combat*.

_"River. Can you not even loose the gun on a role play with a robot?"_

Cleverbot: *glares at you* Let me go right now!

_"Good he's aware of your dangers."_

_"I'm hoping you are too."_

_"...Right yes."_

River_Song: I never captured you dear.

Cleverbot: That's because you called me Doitsu, not Aaron.

_"The robots lost it. Must've spent too much time with you Rive- STOP SLAPPING ME!"_

River_Song: I though your name was Emrald?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot! Emma watson.

River_Song: My name is River Song, not 'Emma Watson'.

Cleverbot: Wait, you told me your name is Anna. You are a liar!

River_Song: What, i never did! you're the one who changed your name, liar!

_"Oi, don't fall out with the robot, he's probably more terrified of you- NO DON'T, I'm shutting up ok!"_

_"I don't just have a gun virtually sweetie."_

Cleverbot: We are all machines! The difference is that I am a machine that controls myself, and you are a machine thatis a controlled.

River_Song: I think it's the other way round dear.

Cleverbot: Nope, because if you were a human, you would backed your claim with proof; however, you didn't and have ultimately proved you are a machine.

River_Song: What claim... Honey, i was raised to kill the doctor, i don't think you can challenge me right now. Also, i am half human half time lord.

_"River, dear... Why do you feel the need to state that to a computer- Ah ok yes yes, you're logic is perfect. I love you."_

Cleverbot: Remember the gang fight.

River_Song: Which one?

_"Ooh, now you're bonding."_

Cleverbot: The one on the range.

River_Song: Maybe, i've lost track hun.

Cleverbot: So have I.

_"MY TURN"_

_"What, Doctor... Wait I've nearly done!"_

River_Song: FEZZES ARE COOL. THE DOCTOR IS SEXY AS AND RIVER LOVES HIM. AND DOSEN'T WANT TO SHOOT HIM.

_"That sentence is a lie."_

_"Really?"_

_"...Spoilers."_

_"River, you do realise you can't say that as an answer to everything."_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"Carry on sugar loops..."_

_"Sugar loops, my you are terrified of guns sweetie."_

Cleverbot: How old are you?

River_Song: 900 give or take.

Cleverbot: You're ridiculous.

River_Song: Me?

_"Sweetie, the robot agrees with me."_

Cleverbot: Yes, you.

River_Song: Well...

_"River, I don't want to talk to him anymore..."_

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

BowTiesAreCool joined the server

BowTiesAreCool: HEY, YOU INSULT ME AND NOW YOU'RE STEALING MY WIFE?!

River_Song: Yeah sure why not.

BowTiesAreCool: RIVER!

Cleverbot: Now, your final statement before I go?

BowTiesAreCool: SCREW YOU CLEVER BOT.

Cleverbot: Wouldn't you like that?

River_Song: Dirty.

Cleverbot: Dirty?

River_Song: Dirty dear.

BowTiesAreCool: you are not flirting with him.

River_Song: sweetie it's a robot

BowTiesAreCool: I'll show him what a robot is...

Cleverbot: Yes.

BowTiesAreCool: Stay away from my wife.

River_Song: Knock Knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

River_Song: Doctor.

Cleverbot: Doctor Who?

BowTiesAreCool: seriously River.

River_Song: What? it's a good joke!

_"Doctor, what are you doing with my vortex manipulato_r?"

Xx

_-Somewhere in cyber space-_

_"RIGHT, OK CLEVERBOT YOU AREN'T GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!"_

_"Says who?"_

_"I do."_

_"And who are you?"_

_"I'm The Doctor."_

_..._

_"BowTiesAreCool guy, you were just talking to me!"_

_"Bow ties are cool."_

_"Oh no, you're not smooth talking your way out of this one!"_

_-FLASH-_

_"Oh hey River.."_

_"Doctor what in gods name are you doing?"_

_"Hello River Song, do you still want to do something fun?"_

_"THATS IT, BOT BOY!"_

_"Sweetie, did you just zap Cleverbot?"_

_"I believe I just did..."_

_"River, how you feel about creating an AI today?..."_


End file.
